Think of me. When you are planning your leisure time, deliberately include me. Don't wait for me to ask how I fit in. It makes me feel unwanted and when I tell you so you feel guilty and then you blame me because you feel that way.
Be fair. If it is a 14 day holiday, plan to spend seven days of it with me. If you don't want to spend that much time with me, do me the courtesy of asking for it to be different and giving me a reason why instead of telling me how it is and blaming me when I object.
Lie to spare my feelings. Please have it be a reason other than, "We just like spending time with Daddy more." I know that is the reason, whatever others you give me, but I need the illusion. You wouldn't be so brazen with a friend, or even a stranger. Give me the same courtesy.
Communicate with me. Don't make plans and expect me to just go along with them, especially if they involve my giving up my time with you. I show I love and value people by giving them my time. When you repeatedly make plans that involve my giving up time, I feel unvalued, especially when you don't ask.
Trust me. I spent five years being as fair to your dad and supportive of your right to love him as I knew how to be. I feel my behavior should have earned some trust from you. I feel betrayed now because it doesn't seem to have earned anything. If your dad says something happened, or was a certain way, then that is the way it was. I am not who I proved to you I was. I am who your dad says I am.
That hurts more than anything.
No comments:
Post a Comment